Wednesday, October 12, 2005
My god is using Firefly to teach me that the future is a wonder of frontier justice and old testament violence. He commands a war against the savages across the hall. I sit in front of his cathode wisdom, hunched in the blood of the weak delivery man, sharpening my VCR remote control into a spearhead, preparing for the cleansing. The pounding of jungle drums layered with slurred rapping is now completely overpowering the words of my god, who speaks to me know through the vessel of Adam Baldwin. He is the enforcer of the ship. We know this because he has a tattoo and facial hair. He tells me of wondrous things, of war and victory, of bathing in the black bile leached from the livers of my victims. This episode is based on Robin Hood, because I haven’t heard that story before. Was there a writer’s strike when I wasn’t looking? This episode tells me of the Bible, and how it exits in the future, and has resonance despite its contradictions and faulty logic. Since I am now stupid, the good book finally makes sense. Is this how Sunday school works? Do they just repeat the same stupid stories over and over again, animated by boring stereotypes who stumble over their dialogue until you get so tired of arguing you just give in, like a forced confession? No matter. Once I drown out the noise from the lands across the hall with the screams of the natives, my god will tell me the truth. Onward to victory!