Saturday, November 19, 2005

Bad Country Grammar.

I don't normally listen to country music, because I am not an idiot. Generally, I find that country is reserved for racist speedfreaks from Red States, which rules me out because I certainly don't live in the US. In fact, I don't normally listen to music at all, preferring instead to fill my leisure time with the noises made by blast-beats and corpse-painted misanthropes shreiking incomprehensible profanities like pregnant women getting forced abortions. But I made it out of my bat-cave long enough this evening to catch the Bloodshot Bill show, which featured opening acts Lefty McRighty and the Boxcar Cadavers and a band that might be called the Vertical Struts. Mainly, I attended because the Lefty's drummer used to be the bassist for a band called Crankenstein, a wonder of noise-based musicianship from my hometown that maintained the level of violent arrogance best suited for the bad guys in WWE match-ups. Crankenstein went the way of the dodo, had the dodo been arrested for drug possession and weapons offences then fled to Los Angeles, but Lefty McRighty gained a great drummer from the debacle, and this show was truly rocking. The songs were all about having sex and drinking, two things I don't do, one by choice and the other because I look like a dead teenager, but they were fun, aggresive, and confederate as hell, despite the fact that most of the band looks like they grew up on a farm in the Ottawa Valley. Good show, and download some music here.


Anonymous Je Suis said...

Like, The VS are Edmonton. EDMONTON! We're everywhere these days. It's Montreal here, baby, but without the cool spelling or proximity to any major media outlet. Did they play that "Girlfriend Boyfriend" song? "Plans" is perfect, too, and so is "Fun Is Not Fun".

3:11 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

What, am I wearing black rimmed glasses and corderouys? Do I look like a music critic? I don't know what the hell they played, only that it didn't feature either Satanic imagery or violent rape-fantasy-themed lyrics. I just wanted to see Lefty McRighty do a Metallica cover, which they did. Four Horsemen, if you're curious, off of Kill 'Em All.

12:53 p.m.  
Anonymous will said...

Man, Who's that skinny topless guitarist chick wearing the devil mask on the Crankentstein website? She really needs to eat a sandwich or two.

6:56 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I'm not sure. I never met her, but I think her name was "fuck you and your missing immigrant finger, Will". I do remember that she was immensely talented, however.

7:05 p.m.  
Anonymous Will said...

So sensitive.

8:50 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

She. She's so sensitive.

8:39 a.m.  
Anonymous Je Suis said...

Shows how wrong I am. Up to now, I sort of assumed you looked like cross between a young Ebert and Salvador Dali, but always with the proviso of being entirely clad in cordurouy and definitely wearing black-rimmed spectacles.

5:41 p.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

No way, je suis - I think it's glaringly obvious from his diction that Ash is about 4'9", concave-chest skinny, with curly blonde hair (a little long at the back), and ragged fingernails. He probably still wears a lot of plaid.

4:40 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I'm 5'9".

8:41 a.m.  
Anonymous Deanna said...

Will, just because you have an "obscenely short quang" (I quote an inside source here), doesn't mean that you can go around bullying people. You know that we're not supposed to talk about Ash's effeminite body characteristics. "He" has been extremely self-conscious about this since "his" sex change. Have some compassion!

10:01 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

You sound divorced.

7:00 p.m.  

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