Postcards From The Edge. Addressed To the Canada Council of the Arts.
Dear Canadian Film Industry,
I know things have been tough lately, what with Cronenberg moving to L.A. and Adam Beach taking some time off, but there’s no reason to give up. Oh, you haven’t given up? Sorry. That’s kind of embarrassing, like asking a fat woman when the baby’s due. It’s just that I’ve been watching some of your films lately, and they’ve been a little iffy, if you’ll pardon the profanity. Here’s a tip: If you have less money to shoot a film than you would need to buy a used car, don’t try to make an elaborate medieval sword and sorcery epic. Because you won’t be able to afford the word ‘elaborate’. You’ll just have to pick up the adjective ‘shoddy’ at the thrift store, and make do with a cast of complete unknowns and Monkey Ears from Ready or Not?. Plus, you’ll have to shoot in Romania, a country whose idea of production value is limited to changing the sheets twice while shooting cheap high-8 porn. Also, computer animated dragons? Not your strong suit. Just a thought,