Saturday, February 11, 2006

Death Is Attracted To Open Food Sources, And Scuttles Away If You Turn On The Light.

Dead and Breakfast
2004, USA
Matthew Leutwyler

Dead and Breakfast is way better than killing cockroaches. I know this because I watched the film today, then killed a bunch of cockroaches. And I must say that, while Dead And Breakfast didn’t make a satisfying crunching noise when it finished, it was certainly the more pleasant experience. It’s also better than blinding yourself with burning metal, or having fly larvae hatch in your eye. Essentially, it’s a good film if you compare it to something awful, which fulfills the idiotic “well, it’s good for a horror film” argument, but that’s sort of like picking your favorite type of cancer.

Strangely, this experience is mucb etter than What The Bleep Do We Know?

It is not, however, better than other movies. If Dead And Breakfast had been made 20 years ago, it would now be hailed as a cult classic. As it stands, however, it’s just an average movie that no one will watch, by the same token that everyone I know has seen Plan 9 From Outer Space but no one has ever seen Stealth. I’m at a loss to explain why everything that sucks now is just lame, but everything that sucked twenty years ago is retro and campy. And while I did enjoyed parts of the film, I’ve already forgotten the convoluted plot, which features Buddhist mythology (again! ), zombies and plenty of horror-punk rockabilly, like someone left a Cramps record in the back of a Ford pick-up.

From the 60s: Camp/goth idol. From last week: Evanesence groupie.

On the up side, it does have Jeremy Sisto getting his head cut off. For a few blessed minutes, I hoped this meant I would no longer have to watch Six Feet Under. Sadly, however, the show carried on without him, plunging deeper into the world of well-written, realistic characters exploring the varied emotional shades of being stunningly, stunningly boring. I’m midway through the second season, and I still haven’t found a character who doesn’t remind me of someone I’m trying to avoid by watching TV. I’m staying in my apartment to get away from people like this, not to have them recreated on HBO. Maybe I’ll finally have to leave my house to the cockroaches.


Blogger melinama said...

Maybe to become a cult classic a movie has to be awful in a new way. If it is awful in a way that many things have been awful before, no laurels.

Or, to be retro and campy, a movie must be old. It can't be retro if it's new. Look at 70s movies, for instance, they have the awful hair going for them. That used to just be awful but now it's awful, retro, and campy.

Maybe in the future our current movies, with women who weight 101 pounds but have DD cups, will be awful and campy for that very reason.

8:06 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Yeah. It's already happening with Baywatch.

1:04 p.m.  
Anonymous Dreck said...

Hi Ash, longtime reader, firstime poster. This movie has dragged me out of the woodwork. Why? It was honestly one of the worst movies I have ever seen. One of the few movies I could not even finish watching. When the dude started to pull that slapstick jackassery on the blood I just had to leave the room. Not even Plan 9 did that to me (it just made me sleepy). IF in the future this movie has some sort of cult movie revival, I will hate you all even more than I do now.

6:22 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Wait, there's readers who don't post? I thought it was just the six regulars and sometimes Rin.

As for the film, the comedy feels familiar and forced, and the 'mythology' of the film is needlessly complex. Still, it's nice to know that there are other people out there who really like Evil Dead 2.

7:15 p.m.  
Anonymous Dreck said...

Before Dead and Breakfast was even an embryo in the womb of its writer it wanted to be a cult movie, so they force fed jokes into little baby Dead and Breakfast that would appeal to fans of cultish movies. The same lame ass jokes that have been made over and over again, only this time much much worse. There is some sort of weird mutual masterbation vibe that goes into movies like these "huh huh, I liked what they did in other low budget horror movies, i'll make a similar movie so maybe they like mine".

7:57 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I'm also getting pretty damn sick of characters in horror movies referencing other horror movies. I've seen Scream, and I haven't forgotten it quite yet.

11:16 p.m.  
Anonymous dr. zachary smith said...

i can give you an example of what i think is the difference between "cult" and "popular", i used to really enjoy all those shows from the 80`s, you know, stuff like, the golden girls, cheers, the cosby show, roseanne etc, however now i cannot sit through an episode of any of these afor-mentioned shows because they now seem so embarressing and out-moded, but that show called police squad 1982, (of which there were only 6 episodes, and which went down the toilet on american tv), i can watch endlessly, and it never fails to make me fall about. (THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN "CULT" AND "POPULAR").

7:39 p.m.  
Anonymous Ash karreau said...

my dear dr. smith, i dont give a hoot in hell what you think about anything, now please go back to the jupiter 2 and dont ever visit my site again, you bloody ludicrous fart.

10:28 a.m.  
Anonymous the nauseating (but truthful) little fart said...

my dear melinama, i looked at your profile and noticed, "to my extreme dismay", that quite a few of your supposedly favorite movies are british made, well, my good woman, i must tell you that you`ve been conned my dear, yes thats right, i said conned, surely you must be able to see that all british made films are unwatchable abominations and celluiod scum of the lowest order, that they are a pathetic laughable joke when compared to the breathtaking magnificence of their american counterparts and that the entire british film industry is a hideous non entity which must be destroyed, now, i would very much appreciate it if you would go back and make a completely new list, this time comprising only american made films, thank-you. the way a woman who weighs 101 pounds and has DD cups is, (it might surprise you to learn), the perfect woman, (as long as she is 18 years old, as opposed to 34 !!!).

10:53 a.m.  

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