Sunday, February 19, 2006

I Can Hear The Colour Yellow.

Throne of Blood
1957, Japan
Akira Kurosawa
DVD

One day, I will stop watching Akira Kurosawa movies. This will be the day that I die, swallowing my tongue after a seizure caused by seeing moonlight flit through yet another wisp of fog on a barren, black and white Japanese plain, because Kurosawa apparently never stopped making movies, even when he was dead or asleep. Every time I think I’m done, another movie rears its squat, Japanese head, replete with patchy beard and male pattern tonsure, and I have to spend another three hours watching a Criterion collection DVD. Then, lights flash, I taste the sun, and all is beautiful, at least until I’m found in a puddle of froth, black blood, and sick.



I suppose, however, that if I were to die, I could think of worse ways to go than watching Throne Of Blood. Like eating sugar laced with ground glass, or seeing Rent again and catching AIDS from a sharp edged DVD case. This way, at least I get to see one last legendary over-performance by Toshiro Mifune, or the “yellow Charlton Heston”, as he’s known in cinema’s academia. And I experience yet another dense Shakespeare adaptation from a culture that generally puts more effort into the scriptwriting of Nintendo RPGs than motion pictures. I complain, and I complain, but still I watch as the iconography of Elizabethan pulp fiction is replaced by the rich visual cues of feudal Japan. I see Macbeth's Highland moors become the fogged hills of the Orient, and the pride and greed of the Scottish aristocracy changed to the soulless nobility and bottomless treachery of the samurai bushido code. And then the lights flash, I taste the sun, and my mouth fills up with blood. And worst of all, it stains my favorite Samhain T-shirt, and the spot just won’t come out.

12 Comments:

Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Are you gonna recycle this review for when you watch RAN, or did you watch it already and you recycled the review here?

12:42 PM  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I can't even tell anymore.

12:52 PM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Yeah, that sucks Chicky.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Hey Al...I mean ASH, I've noticed that I'm commenting too much lately.
You're my 3rd favorite blog and I'm wearing out my welcome.
See ya next week.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

THIRD favorite? Who's one and two. I swear to god, I'll cut them up. Jerk, as one of my first and most loyal readers, there's no way you can outstay your welcome, unless you talk during The Shield.

12:17 AM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Ok man, if you're SURE I'm not bugging you.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Well, you're bugging me now that you won't tell me who your two favorite blogs are.

3:47 PM  
Blogger Sam Kahn said...

Obviously mine is his favorite blog. Even though I rarely update these days and he doesn't comment. Yeah.

8:50 PM  
Anonymous Je Suis said...

"Yellow Charlton Heston"? Amazing. And insulting on so many levels.

9:16 PM  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

But yet so accurate.

10:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Toshiro Mifune is a God amoung mortals. Watch High and Low (Heaven and Hell) and Sanjuro and realize -- there is no other, there is only Toshiro Mifune! :)

Regards,
Prince Prospero

10:47 AM  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I have seen both High and Low and Sanjuro. He was loud and barrel chested in both. I stand by my original statement.

10:10 AM  

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