Saturday, February 18, 2006

Meet You In The School Yard At 3:15.

Of course, all true fans of this site and cinema in general will already be attending the prestigious Rendez-Vous Du Cinema Quebecois festival this month, specifically the screening at the Cinematheque Quebecoise this Sunday, the 19th, at 4:00pm. Provided, of course, you live in Montreal. Anyone who attends will get a personalized disapproving stare from yours truly.


Anonymous broadzilla said...

You look nothing like Bruce Campbell.

5:32 a.m.  
Anonymous Rin said...

Can I come?

5:45 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Broad - According to the My Heritage website (courtesy of Neonightmare), I look like D.H. Lawrence and Clive Barker.

rin, I already got you a ticket.

9:25 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Apparently my closest match is Heidi Klum. Given that I am light-years from resembling a tall, blonde supermodel, you probably shouldn't take it too seriously.

Still, you could always tell people you've been compared to D.H. & C, and let them think you mean your writing. Imagine their surprise!

(And it's Ms. Zilla, Ash. Geez.)

10:34 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Which one is yours?

12:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Rin said...

Now that's service.

6:08 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

No problem, Rin.

Jerk - You get one guess.

10:20 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

I was joking man.

Gee let's see.....there's some kid that makes Harry Potter look like Clive Owen, there's some old lady, there are some "cute" animated brats, some old guy, a bunch of "Sisterhood of the fried green ya ya pants" chick flicks and then there's a guy covered in blood.

I refuse to call you Al.

Unless you make it big, then I'll call you MISTER Al and bring you your coffee and heroin.

9:22 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I'm glad you find my animated brats cute.

10:45 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

NO way, that's not it?

You're messing with me right?

You don't look like Dave Gahan from Depeche you?
If so, you get WAY more chicks then you did when I thought you looked like a guy name "Al".

10:50 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Yes, I am messing with you.

11:02 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Ash, what does "Etudiate (whatever it is), Real, montage...etc" mean?

I'm a stupid one language American.

Is your fil-im in Francais?
Is there anywhere to view it other thatn fil-im festivals?

11:02 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

"Etudiante" means student. "Real" is short for "realisateur", which means director, and "montage" means editing, or in this case, editor.

Any more? I'm a translating machine!

11:09 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Seriously Ash, are you dave or are you Al?

I'd hate to think that I insulted you without meaning to.

When I insult people I like to make it special not some random f-up.

12:26 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

If I were a computer animator, don't you think this site would look better?

1:01 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

I even made that joke when I was thinking about it!
You rock "Al".

Hey I did that face recognition crap and it said I look like D.H. Lawrence. Is that it's generic face?
How can I look like him, Werner Von Braun, Hugh Jackman and Danny Glover?

Stupid face.

You didn't tell me how I can see your film! Fax it to me or sumthin man.

1:32 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

You'll be able to buy it next month. I'll put up a link.

3:35 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Can I get it autographed?

4:15 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

That's an extra $50.

6:59 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

What is that like $3 U.S.?
Shit man, autograph it twice.
You gotta eat!

8:39 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Pfft. That joke's like four months too late. A dollar US is like a buck 15 Canadian now. Until next week, that is.

11:52 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Youknow what's cool about this post?
The random masses that stop by, yet don't comment (Yes YOU Sparky!! I see you sittin there readin, but not commenting. For godsakes put a shirt on! Not you Sara....hubba hubba.) will see that there are over 20 comments and be all "HOly crap Ash finally has people saying crap it's just him and Jerk making US/Canada currency exchange jokes. Fuckers!"

1:37 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I would hardly call the people that read this site 'masses'. But I would argue that the few die-hard fans appreciate the currency jokes as much as the Asian slurs.

9:12 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Yes, it's been riveting. Now will you tell us how the festival went?

9:38 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Yeah, did you win "Best film featuring a guy covered in blood" or "Most disturbing director".
How about "Best tattooed skinny guy"?
Did they make "best short film" a caged match and you had to beat the crap out of that Depeche Mode lookin guy?
Did you get to meet anybody awesome again like when you met Roger Corman? (I'm STILL jealous of that, you bastard.)

1:25 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Ms. Zilla - Nope.

Jerk - Uh, Roy Dupuis? Is that cool?

11:35 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Only because he played The Rocket.

7:42 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Tsk. Talk about biting the hand that reads.

9:05 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Really? It's not because he was in Hemogoblins?

Ms. Zilla - It's just that it's not very interesting. There's a lot of me being sick to my stomach and looking uncomfortable and not much else.

9:19 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Sorry to hear that, Ash. In fact, you may still occasionally refer to me as 'Broad', if that helps you feel better.

10:12 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Can I refer to you as "Chicky"?

11:01 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

I hope you're talking to me.

11:11 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Ha! No, I was asking Zilla. you WANT me to call you Chicky?

11:14 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Whatever keeps you coming back.

12:17 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

No Jerk, you may not.

2:55 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Why can't he call me Chicky?

8:33 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla actually has work to do said...

Because "Babycakes" seems more respectful, somehow.

(Every time I think I've nipped this particular exchange in the bud, I get sucked back in. Damnit.)

9:43 a.m.  
Anonymous buy one for broadzilla said...

Ohhhhh. If this doesn't cheer you up, nothing will:

The "Misfits Version" DANZIG Figure is Fully Articulated and comes in the
"Ghoulest" Box that features an Upside Down Cross see-thru Front.

10:43 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

fuk. Let's try that again:

10:45 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Wait, WHO am I calling "babycakes"?
Zilla or Ash?
Who's gonna be "Chicky" then?

Zilla....I luv you.

11:15 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Fatman for 'Chicky'!

Jerk, I thought we'd already established that bandying pet names of any description around yours truly, unless under exceptional circumstances, is not a good idea. I also would have thought it was blindingly obvious that you were calling Ash 'Babycakes'. Please pay attention.

That aside, I 'heart' you too, Jerk - in the way that only 2 bored posters on a site apparently aimed at homicidal old men in raincoats with a penchant for art house cinema and small children, could.

Now, could we have a little less chummy familiarity around here already? My work isn't finishing itself...

12:26 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

I must have missed the "Don't call me baby" conversation.

Sorry Mistress Zilla.

3:41 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Wow, I remember reading about that doll five years ago. I guess they were waiting for the market to be ready for three obscure dolls of the sams obscure musician.

And the homicidal men in raincoats do not need to be old, thank you very much. In fact, the younger my audience is, the better.

3:49 p.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

They skimped a bit on Glenn's cheeks, though.

3:52 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

No hair either. That guys a hairy little elf.
I'd only get the "Danzig" one.
It's cool that they made them life-sized though.

OK, this isn't fun anymore, Zilla is ignoring me now, and I get tired scrolling down this far. I'll see you guys at another post.

7:50 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

They did, however, get his enormous chin right. And the Samhain one is by far the most awesome.

9:16 a.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

Yes, the Samhain one rules.

Jerk, you know it's against the rules to address me directly, unless responding to a specific command.

Anyway, don't you have enough women to talk to over at your blog? The place is crawling with them.

10:34 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Yeah, I've been meaning to call the exterminator.

Ah yes, but Mistress Zilla I always want what I can't have.
Namely YOU, and Ash's cool "soul patch" pseudo beard thingy.

Oh, and all the world peace crap everybodys talking about.

Just when I think I'm out of this post, they pull me back in.

11:47 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

IT'S NOT A SOUL PATCH! It's a forked beard of power.

1:12 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

So it's more like a "I will eat your soul" patch?

1:57 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

It would be, if I were bigger and it looked scary instead of really, really stupid.

9:17 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

And you have it because.....

10:41 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

It's the only thing that makes me not look 16.

10:49 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Ha! OK, I'm moving this random conversation to another post.

10:53 a.m.  

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