Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Like Jesus, I Will Rise From The Dead. And Hate Homosexuals.

Wow, that was nice. Thanks for the emails, and all the pleasant comments, except for Derek and that goth girl that sent me black flowers and a dead rat, like that’s supposed to make me feel better. In the future, dead children are worth the extra postage.

So, it’s been fun, and while any explanation I give for my absence will be meaningless since none of you actually know me personally, I will give a somewhat cursory one. Essentially, for the immediate future, I have some current concerns that require immediate and constant attention. Coupled with a sense of being a little burned out and quite clearly not very funny anymore, I don’t really have the energy or the time for complaining about movies. And most important of all, I don’t have a house or a computer at the moment, which means that I’ve been posting lately through the use of smoke signals and a Cherokee interpreter. But, the Cherokee stole my TV and most of my remaining DVDs and traded them in for fire water and anti-freeze, so now I’m shit out of luck. There’s a small chance I will be back on my feet blogging wise in mid June, or earlier, but I couldn’t really bear to see the hits dwindle while people gradually lose interest, so I figured I would just call it quits, and maybe try to re-boot later on in the summer. And even if I could come back in June, things would be very sporadic, because of some other stuff that’s going on at the end of the month. So, instead of making everybody wait, I pulled the plug, and also swallowed a bottle of Atavan and threw up in a bathtub. Essentially, all I’m trying to say is that I’m not dead, despite my best efforts, and I might be back, if only to use a joke I’ve been saving up about Jessica Biel looking like Jennifer Tilly’s younger brother. Truth be told, I feel a lot more motivated about coming back now that I see that my readership is actually 18, and not the even dozen I had assumed.

Point being, drop by every once in a while if you feel like it, email me if you want to know if a movie’s good or not, check out The Comic Book Bin once a week for my stuff, and visit all the links on the right hand side of the page daily. Bye for now,



Anonymous Mr. George Burdi said...

Just like Jesus, you too were killed by the Jews.

10:57 p.m.  
Blogger batturtle said...

First Blue Beetle and now this.
If X-Men 3 sucks, that'll be the final straw. I'm totally gonna' go postal.


11:28 p.m.  
Blogger Sean said...

best of luck with everything.

4:11 a.m.  
Blogger Squish said...

Well I hope everything works out for you there, Ash, and I'll be starting up the filmsquish.com in a few weeks. It'd be nice if you visited.

8:44 a.m.  
Anonymous Rin said...

Don't worry about missing any films in the meantime, I can categorically say that they'll all be shit anyway.

10:00 a.m.  
Anonymous TC said...

Come back soon.


11:21 a.m.  
Anonymous Frodish said...

Twenty, fucker.

Thanks for ruining Pesach.

1:24 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

OK man, come back when/if you can.
I'll still be here.
I'm a loser like that.

1:32 p.m.  
Anonymous Tony Danza said...

still :(

6:11 p.m.  
Blogger melinama said...

I'll miss you, too. Good luck with whatever...

1:58 a.m.  
Blogger nijaz said...

I think he's just discovered a hidden stash of young japanese girls somewhere. So until he does whatever he does, I guess we'll have to wait. Bad reason though unless u tell me . . .

6:08 a.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

DISAPPOINTED. I have an endless goddamn supply of pirate DVDs over here; how am I going to know what to hate, and why to hate it, unless you tell me? The light has failed me. Good night, and rock that poutine.

3:40 a.m.  
Blogger Jaymis said...

Another reader who's going to have to make do with nail clippers and wooden beads to make himself miserable, now Ash is on JapSafari.

8:56 a.m.  
Anonymous Fred said...

Japanese girls? Who are you kidding. He broke into the childrens' hospital morgue, and ... made a few withdrawls. Or was that deposits?

Hope all is well- I will miss the commentary.


11:45 p.m.  
Blogger Valet Attendant said...

I've seen a homeless lady lick dog balls better than that exit,


7:33 p.m.  
Anonymous Drek said...

If I said I didn't check back almost every day for some post or comment, I would certainly be lying.

5:24 p.m.  
Blogger Sam Kahn said...

Damn, I go missing for a few weeks and this is what happens? I hope this isn't because you missed my comments so much.

Anyways, in all seriousness, I hope everything goes well and that you'll be back sooner than later.

After all, who else is going to make me feel guilty for not watching as many movies as a should be and for not writing about these movies that I didn't see?

11:13 p.m.  
Anonymous jimf said...

Great review! I just found your site from a post in Samizdata...I will be a regular reader...if you begin posting again regularly.

2:59 p.m.  
Blogger nijaz said...

I'm going to Africa. I'm going to Africa and fucking anything with a heartbeat and a hole. I must surely get AIDS. Then I'll do a breast implant, smear blood all over me, and go around the world in 80 days. I shall only stop when every blood sucking leech big enough to call itself vampires takes a bite at me. Then surely you shud come back with racist sickenin excuse of a review. Coz all of em Vampires will be busy at the AIDS SUPPORT GROUP while Alex registers himself at the nearest employee exchange.

Or make the greatest freakin movie.
(I'm still guessin)


7:11 a.m.  
Blogger jim pinto said...

did i make the top 18?

did i?

oh man. i hope i did.

5:28 p.m.  
Anonymous Randy said...

I've seen Superman, and it wasn't as impressive as I thought it would be. Too bad...

2:32 a.m.  

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