Tuesday, January 09, 2007

High on Hatred.

1996, Denmark
Nicolas Winding Refn

There's no such thing as a cool drug dealer. They subsist on misery, despair, and stupid looking track pants. Despite what shitty dope movies marketed at retarded club kids would have you believe, drug dealers have their 'jobs' not because they're bad asses you need to admire, but rather because it's the only profession where you can sleep until 3 pm, watch The Price Is Right everyday, and still make the rent on their shitty bachelor apartment that smells like sweat and old beer. Yes, I know you wish your life was like Go, but it's not. Instead, you're buying coke off a scabby high school drop out who doesn't remember your name. But, that won't stop you from pretending you played WWF Smackdown on his 52' plasma screen so you can impress the 18 year old girl you're looking to bang with how hard you are. Unless you're a girl, in which case you're trying to impress everyone with how hard you can party, which is shorthand for saying how quickly you can pass out with your top off in a room full of guys who have never had sex sober.

The best way to get popular in high school.

Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, Pusher. Well, Pusher is not a good movie. It doesn't seem to have much of a point, and there's not a single character in the whole film that I wouldn't cross the street to avoid, much less stare at for an hour and 42 minutes. But, in the context of drug movies, when placed along side thinly veiled glorifications of drug culture like Trainspotting, Go, and Human Traffic, Pusher really stands out as a brutal antithesis. It's not that's it's a particularly grim or frightening portrayal, but it does show drug culture the way it is: depressing, stagnant, and full of middle aged guys with gold jewelry moving powder down the drug chain until it makes itself up the nose of a 23 year-old at a Prodigy concert. Never mind the damage drugs do to your body, what about the damage they do to your mind, when all you're capable of talking about is how high you got at Osheaga, and how hung over you are today? Fuck! Talk about something else! Anything else! Quit comparing hash oils and coke prices! I like eggs, but you don't see me spending all day loudly arguing over the merits of white versus brown, how good my grocer is, or how big the omelet I ate last night was. You're like a broken record, and the music fucking sucks.

Uh, where was I? Oh, yeah, Pusher. Yeah, the movie's Danish, or some country where the language sounds like gay German. It's about a drug dealer, as you may have guessed, who owes his supplier some money, then ends up owing him some more money, and then some more. Nothing really happens, aside from this guy getting more and more screwed, and then things end really abruptly. The film is shot with a hand-held, Run Lola Run sense of pacing, emphasizing the grittiness of the story, and trying to make a lifestyle that's essentially a lot of sitting in parked cars waiting for the cell phone to ring look exciting. It sort of works, I guess, because some people get their heads beaten in with baseball bats, but in the end it doesn't seem worth it. The two leads look like Tom Sizemore and a shark, respectively, and the movie makes you feel so ugly and depressed, you'll need to get right fucked up afterwards.



Anonymous Rin said...

It's amazing how this caught on as a cult. I've no idea how people managed to watch the second and third after how bad this one was. But then people did the same with Lord of the Rings, so I guess that makes me a minority.

I can't even be bothered to finish on a racist joke, sorry everyone.

3:03 p.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

"I like eggs...". that cracks me up.

(Fuck, I hate Blogger - I think I might have posted this comment 9 times already. Sorry, like Rin.)

3:36 p.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Really? Just the fact that I like eggs cracks you up? Weird. Or was that some sort of pun? Anyway, it's moot, because I don't even like eggs at all, it's just the only food item that worked well with the metaphor. And Lord of the Rings wasn't all bad, Rin. It had Christopher Lee mixed in with all the little gay leprechauns and their jewelry.

7:15 p.m.  
Blogger batturtle said...

Hold the phone! was that an actual movie review? I take full responsibility for your new found maturity and almost complete lack of rape jokes. My anger has finally paid off. You've finally taken my wise suggestions towards how to do one of these things. Well done.

Two points of note though:
1-No cool drug dealers? Hellllo...have you never heard of Han Solo sir?
2-no...Lord of the Rings are all bad.

8:29 p.m.  
Anonymous broadzilla said...

What, I have to explain my comments now? Must I do everything? Actually, I meant the whole egg riff was pretty funny, and no, of course I wouldn't stoop to using such a lame and obvious pun. God.

3:41 a.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Lee and Cushing are fucking GODS.

Sorry, any mention of either one at any time makes me blurt that out.
I literally almost jumped over the bar and strangled a guy when I was bartending because he said that Chirstopher Lee's Dracula was lame.

Now for something related to the post...
What you wrote is the ONLY reason I didn't get sucked ito the "drug culture". LOOK, at the people you have to hang with!
It's EXACTLY as you said.
Dude, last night we were SO high.
Dude, we're gonna get high.
Dude, I wish I was high.
Dude, do you know anybody who's getting high?
Phuc.....and that's just the friggin potheads. Don't get me started on my ex-cokefiend girlfriend.

8:23 a.m.  
Blogger Ash Karreau said...

Is that an ex-girlfriend, or a current girlfriend who's an ex-cokefiend? Or is asking that considered getting you started?

6:06 p.m.  
Anonymous Rin said...

It's pointless doing drugs when you realise how good it feels to sever the blood vessels in a neck with knife slashes across both sides in quick succession.

I tripped for days, though not literally. Note how I use the word 'literally' in its correct form, as in to specify and not to exaggerate.

6:12 p.m.  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

She's both now.
No, I'm not geting sarted.

7:48 a.m.  
Anonymous richard dawkins said...

one of the most ludicrous hypocrisys within our society is the fact that drugs are demonised for the sake of hollywood scriptwriters, except alcohol of course, the most poisonous and destructive drug of all, that one is allowed to get away with murder (sometimes literally), we`re talking about levels of mind boggling hypocrisy here that are completely beyond belief !!!

11:28 a.m.  
Anonymous jerk of all trades said...

mr. dawkins i wholeheartedly agree with you, and i also completely agree with you about god being a load of old ludicrous nonsense !!!

11:33 a.m.  

Post a Comment

<< Home